Social Etiquette
By Bahron Ansori, Journalist of MINA News
Some of us may like to hang out, with anyone and anywhere. However, maybe very few of us want to pay attention to how etiquette is in socializing.
If you look at the Prophet Muhammad sallallaahu ‘alaihi wasallam, of course there is already the best example in him. Not only examples of how a Muslim must have etiquette in socializing but also many examples of goodness played by the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wasallam for his people to imitate.
Among the social manners that have also been enshrined by Allah Ta’ala in His holy word in the Qur’an Surah Al A’raf verse 199. Allah Ta’ala says which means,
خُذِ الْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ وَاَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْجٰهِلِيْنَ
“Be forgiving and tell others to do what is right, and don’t care about stupid people.” (Qs. al-A’raf: 199).
In the verse above, Allah Ta’ala immediately asks each of His servants to always prepare themselves in association to become people who are always ready to forgive.
Shaykh Abdurrahman as-Sa’di rahimahullah explained, “The above verse contains recommendations for good morals to fellow humans and good manners in muamalah with others.”
Hebadded that some of the good manners in muamalah are as follows.
First, it’s easy to forgive. People who easily forgive this is a sincere person. Not easily angered, humble and have an airy chest.
People who are easy to forgive, without a burden will forgive if someone else does or has a bad or bad character. He doesn’t easily judge others wrong. Because he realizes that he is also not a perfect human being.
Second, do not force others to behave that is not in accordance with their nature. He has a respect for other people. The goal is to establish a harmonious atmosphere with others.
Third, always be grateful for everything he receives from others, both in the form of good words and deeds, or not good. It is certainly not young. But in order to establish harmony in socializing, being grateful for everything that is received from others is a necessity.
If you receive good words or treatment from others, of course all humans can and are happy. But what if it was the other way around; accept the ugliness of others either verbally or in deed? This is where a grateful heart is needed.
Fourth, always forgive other people’s disgrace while closing their eyes from their shortcomings. Forgiving disgrace and turning a blind eye to his brother’s shortcomings, of course, is not an easy thing for many people. But, for those who understand etiquette in socializing, it will be easy to understand people who have mistakes.
Fifth, do not feel arrogant towards small people, people who lack sense, or poor people. Arrogance is a bad deed. People who are arrogant will usually be shunned by others. No one wants to be close and associate with arrogant people.
This is one of the secrets of success in a relationship; not arrogant. Not arrogant to small people, meaning don’t underestimate the situation. Not arrogant to those who lack sense, meaning do not feel smarter than others and not being arrogant to the poor of course means never feeling richer.
Sixth, there is no inherent beauty in something unless it is covered with softness. Confronting every level of society with gentleness is the secret to building goodness in socializing.
It’s useless to build a relationship but do not tuck meekness in it. Associations that are not built on the basis of gentleness, will give birth to aridity and ugliness. In the end there will be conflict with each other.
Seventh, be gentle with others. Eighth, be wise in your attitude to others by adjusting the existing conditions. Ninth, behave with a temperament that makes others happy and open-minded.” (Taisir al-Karim ar-Rahman fi Tafsir Kalam al-Mannan p. 313).
If the social manners conveyed by Shaykh Abdurrahman as-Sa’di above can be practiced in the daily life of a Muslim, God willing, his life will be safe and happy, wallahua’lam. (T/RE1)
Mi’raj News Agency (MINA)
