Don’t Be Judgmental! (By: Shamsi Ali)

Oleh: Shamsi Ali, President of Nusantara Foundation, New York

One of my activities as a priest in New York City is getting married. To legally marry in the American context one must be registered as an ‘Officer’. In Indonesian, an officiant has a license as a “penghulu” who is registered at City Hall or the mayor’s office.

Because marriage falls within the realm of state law, each “penghulu” has the authority to marry only in the state or country where the person concerned is registered. So, for example, I can only legally marry in the state of New York.

By legally marrying what is meant is that the penghulu is justified in signing a marriage license from the mayor’s office to be the basis for issuing a marriage certificate for the bride.

This time, that’s not what I’m going to talk about. But some comments that I read on social media about the marriage of several Muslim brides and a groom who became Muslim (convert) before marriage.

Various comments were conveyed by many parties who appreciated and prayed for the happiness of the bride and groom. Also specifically pray for the groom, the convert, istiqamah in the way of Islam.

But not a few also submitted oblique or negative comments. Usually, those who make comments like this are those who feel that their Islam is greater. They may even feel holy and perfect in religion. This attitude and judgment alone is actually enough to become a sin trap for the perpetrator.

Therefore, I just want to convey a few things that might be a warning to all of us.

First, for those of us who understand, believe and are committed to Sharia, it is impossible to marry a Muslim woman to a non-Muslim man. Although there is a minority opinion justifying the marriage, in fact the opinion is the language of hadith is “gharib” (foreign) and even “syadz” (plate of ijma’) and for us it is unacceptable with various arguments that I do not need to detail at this time.

Second, talking about religion is of course talking about guidance and that guidance is something that is exclusive between a servant and his Lord. Therefore, when a candidate will convert to Islam, the main concern of Islam is not on his marriage. But in the process concerned receive God’s guidance. The impending marriage is only a bonus and not a basic motivation for a person to convert to Islam.

Third, in assessing a person’s religion, what needs to be a reference is the implementation of the formal rules of that religion. In Islam this is called Sharia (Islamic Law). Things that are related beyond (beyond) it is a private matter between a servant and his Lord. Therefore, when a person has made the shahada, then married a Muslim woman, no one can judge his heart.

Fourth, in a fairly long experience and not a few that Allah has shown through this small effort, I have found that those who accept Islam later in life (converted) are generally stronger in their Islamic commitments than those of us who were born to Muslim fathers. That’s because they did learn, live, even feel and realize before entering this religion.

Fifth, negative judgments about other people’s faith/Islam are usually based on feelings of being more religious and even more sacred. This feeling itself is actually part of the devil’s door which clearly contradicts Allah’s warning: “wa laa tuzakku anfusakum (don’t purify yourself). For verily Allah knows best which of you is pious.”

The main point I want to convey is that our brothers and sisters who accept Islam because they know Muslim women and want to get married do not need to be judged on their intentions. Don’t let your judgment be reversed. You who actually need to improve yourself who feel the most powerful in religion and even holy. While they converted to Islam really because of the awareness and guidance of Allah. Wallahu a’lam! (AT/RE1)

Mi’raj News Agency (MINA)